“Apology is never to be taken lightly. Apology is a serious act. Excess of apology loses its importance. You should use it only when it is really required. An apology should be meaningful & true & not an obligation.”
It is a very common proverb that “to err is human”. An error can either be deliberate or unintentional. We have hundreds of daily life experiences to affirm this saying. If we carry out self-analysis, & when our egotism is not greater than that of a common person, strong likelihood is that we perfectly correspond with this saying. Many people get affronted from us whereas we also offend several ourselves. Somebody may not like something we do or say. Similarly, we also get displeased from them for many reasons. Mistakes may be committed even by a most educated, sensible & wise person. An inadvertent act by him may not be liked by others or may hurt & upset people. Yet this situation is not to be worried about much. If our acts or words can worsen relations with others, trivial of efforts can bring them back to normalcy. Generally we don’t have to strive rigorously to achieve the same. It just requires slight patience & wisdom. An expert in human behavior, Paul Notar says: “Committing a mistake or happening of a mistake is an act which is not as undesirable as is its inflexible support & non acceptance”. He further says: “If you have d1 something wrong, you must also be familiar with accepting it. Admitting a mistake does not belittle you. Perhaps by doing so you gain more value & respect by others. Moreover, if you ignore the matter & presume that it will resolve at its own, you are mistaken as well. It normally does not happen this way. At times when a matter is lingered on for long, it further complicates.” Realization of having committed a mistake & determination to avert recurrence, are essential for a significant apology. Another expert in human behavior states: “It is irrelevant as to how you apologize, more important is that whenever you make an apology, have a firm sentiment in your heart that you did make a mistake. Therefore to maintain arelationship apology is absolutely essential.” This elucidates that you prefer harmonious relations over ego & that you are concerned for your partners’ feelings. Seeking plea also indicates that you have no remorse admitting the guilt. Human relations & behaviors expert Booky Conroy says: “It is true that making mistakes is natural & everybody commits errors. But people avoid shouldering responsibility for mistakes. You should be acquainted with taking the onus so as corrective measures can be adopted.” Some mistakes demand colossal repentance & usually such an apology is needed when the mistake is also grave in nature. If you have targeted some1’s political, religious or moral values or humiliated him extensively, you would certainly require extra time & efforts to obtain forgiveness. You can present a beautiful card, flowers or a unique gift to offer your apology for a mistake. But at the same time suitable remorseful words are also paramount or else a present or flowers won’t work. Presents al1 cannot substitute a truthful message coming directly from heart. While seeking apology keep an eye contact with the person being spoken to. Maintain a warm attitude & choice of words should be affectionate so as your cordial relations are reestablished. Guilt should be felt deep in your heart. While apologizing, explain why you are doing this. If a person is not aware as to why you are offering your regrets, it will not be easy for him to forgive you. It is rather common that parents compel their children for confession & excuse. Persuasion for an apology proves futile most of the time. Children are usually asked to seek forgiveness when they are being penalized. Obtainment of such apology is meaningless as it eliminates the awareness which itself emerges after a mistake is made. Actually he is admitting his fault & 1 should be mindful about the problems of the individual. It is quite possible that the mistake was committed unconsciously. Mistake itself is an appeal for pardon. Person offering his apology expects your pardon. He is truly trying to tell how important you are for him. In fact, apology is a form of renouncement through which he conveys avoiding repetition of an act that may offend you. APPLICATION OF APOLOGY AT YOUR HOME Apology is never to be taken lightly. Apology is a serious act. Excess of apology loses its importance. You should use it only when it is really required. An apology should be meaningful, true & not an obligation. Apologize only when you really sense that that you have d1 something wrong. A person should apologize his wife if he spends a night somewhere else. But if there is time constraint at office in immediate relaying of information, there is no need to plead for the same. Other person should have realization of your constraints. Apology should not considered a delete button as if everything you have d1 can eliminated by it. Rather, its effects stay for long & if similar mistake is repeated soon, then all previous methods of getting forgiveness will go in vain. Parent’s seeking excuse from children also has its positive effects. It nurtures humanitarian values in them. They learn to be embarrassed on wrong doings & subsequent adoption of corrective measures. It also helps in further strengthening of relations between parents.
